So I have probably just had the most terrible week mentally I have had in years and years, I don't struggle with mental health as a whole but this week my mental health has struggled. I hope that makes sense?
Sometimes we can be sad, emotional, demotivated, deflated, tired among other things, well just because really. There doesn’t always need to be a deep and meaningful reason behind it. But I am just glad I am coming out of the other side, and I don’t live there long term.
It’s been a rough week, part of this week has been believing am I good enough? I know damn well I am good enough at my job but that subjective feeling sometimes kicks in and our mind is a very powerful tool. Much more powerful than anything else.
I have lost a little fitness since my holiday and gained a little body fat, are people looking at me differently? My mind might say yes, but I can near enough guarantee no one is thinking either of these things. It’s just my perception of what people are thinking of me.
Quote time (If I could only speak in quotes for the rest of my life I would)
“I am not who you think I am; I am not who I think I am; I am who I think you think I am.”
– Charles Cooley
This is amazing and so very very true.
Your perception of yourself is what you believe others think of you, that is a criticism of yourself and not others.
The number of times I have had this conversation is insane, but I remember thinking the EXACT same thing before I started the gym for the first time
“I am going to be a lot weaker than everybody else”
“I don’t want to embarrass myself in front of people”
“People will think I am so weak and unfit”
I can nearly categorically tell you that is only in your head, as harsh as this sounds. No one gives a flying fuck about what you can do. People are too focused on themselves.
Another one is people believing they should be a certain size, the perception of the size they believe they should be because of the size others are or what others deem to be the ‘ideal size’
I remember a time when I became a qualified PT I would hide some of the foods I was eating in public because I was worried that people would judge me. But I was taught to not eat badly in my course because PT’s don’t eat badly.
What a crock of shit. So I was lead to believe I had to uphold this perception of myself because that is what others wanted me to be like.
What I have actually learnt is people like real people, they like to know you suffer and struggle too.
Everyone regardless of your role on this planet may be a CEO of a fortune 500 Company or a backpacker working for a free place to sleep, we are all just humans trying to do a little bit better.
I have dealt with multimillionaire clients from big companies that put on this crazy powerful persona because they believe that is what people need to see or want to see, yet they are the most emotional and broken people on the planet because they are lying to themselves each and every day.
The world is changing I want to believe and I hope.
So how can we stop thinking about what others think of us? Firstly I believe we need to be kinder to ourselves, be truer to ourselves and understand the people that we truly are.
Task – Judge others less, as you do not want to be judged. You will be surprised at the outcome.
So change your perception of things, and you will change your reality.
