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You're Not Helping!

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You're Not Helping!

I deal with women and their diets every single day, they come to me because they are struggling with something, maybe they are not happy with their body, maybe they don’t know how to maintain their weight loss, maybe its health, fitness, strength, or mental. BUT almost every single person I sit down with wants to improve their body composition above all else. Of course, it is, people say “no it’s not”, but break it down enough. Yes, it is. 
 

We all want a better body, every one of us wants to be able to stand in the mirror and look at ourselves and think “that’s a bit of alright, I am happy’ but it is a very hard thing to do subjectively after living a certain way, or with a certain mentality for a period of time, and the world of social media is not helping at all.
 

That’s why we have to work on peoples behaviour and mindset from the start about who they are and why they are doing this. We have to change the way people look at themselves, we have to empower people, build them up, give them a result mentally/physically. 
 

BUT there is a way we should do this and there is a way we should not. 
 

Time and time again (and this is a bit of a rabbit hole, so I will try and get my point across well) I fucking wish people would stop acting like everyone is just perfect the way they are especially when this plays with their health and wellbeing.
 

Someone comes to me overweight in need of help and really unhappy with the way they feel and look. Yet they hide this from friends and family because they are trying to be way braver then they need to me. I have had one person say to me ‘I feel like I am letting women down’ now that is mental right!? not for her to say that, but for her to feel like wanting to improve is negative.   


When I asked why she would say that, she said “Women everywhere are fighting for body acceptance whatever shape they might be, yet I am wanting mine to change and be better even though I am not in the worst shape I have been” so after we spoke about some pretty deep issues and she left feeling ready and confident.

Then their friends and family are saying things like “you’re perfect the way you are, you don’t need to change at all you need to embrace your body for what it is”


I understand the positivity you are wanting to spread but I believe that is not helping if anything you are being detrimental and disempowering. 

This person after a hell of a long period of time has plucked up the courage to ask for help, no one does this on a whim, it isn’t a spur of the moment thing. They want to make a change to better themselves so they can lead a happier healthier life internally, externally, mentally and physically. 



This doesn’t mean they hate themselves because hating yourself isn’t really a reason to want to lose weight. You can still love who you are, regardless of weight but still want to chase self-improvement to be the best version of yourself. I think people miss this point, there is a difference between self-love and self-acceptance. How about we love ourselves so much we want ourselves to flourish and become the best we can be? Love the body we are in, yet want to improve its ability to function to its full capability. 




But people are starting their journey and next minute you’re telling them they don’t need to do it?! WHAT THE FUCK. How about show support, have understanding. It is not your body, it is not your mind, you have no idea what is going on inside a person.




Most people during times feel alone, feel they are the only one going through this, they are not. That is empowering, knowing people are around you supporting you, most people get great results with a sense of purpose and community. 




As a nutrition coach I don’t tell people what to do with their body and neither should you, this is a decision people have to make themselves. You don’t get a say in that, as they don’t get a say with your body.



If you want to build people up around you and empower them? Respect their decision.



If you have had this said to you before and you find it hard to handle maybe you can reply with ‘I appreciate your opinion, but you are not me. I am not doing this because I hate myself, I am doing this because I like myself, for improvement, for my health and wellbeing because I want to love myself even more’.



This blog could be broken down into about 5 different topics which I will speak about in other weeks. so my message is to support people, help them by listening and understanding, don’t judge people, you have no idea what someone is going through, but you can learn if you’re willing to listen.


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